How to be gay without being gay

Whether or not you particularly put yourself into the queer community, by being bisexual others are going to define you that way. But you don’t have to participate in pride, or do anything you don’t want to do.

Being homosexual, gay, or having same-sex attraction is not sex addiction, and should never be treated as such. This puts the client at odds with their sexual orientation and only makes things worse.

We spoke to Jane Ward, author of Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men, about the gay sex straight white guys have been having for centuries.

First, to answer your title question, you can indeed be queer without being a member of the queer community, or any specific queer community. More specific to your situation, this particular community is no longer serving your needs.